21 February 2008

Why can't I?

Famous last words in the Book of Rosie...

My cube-mate (yes you heard that right, in my most recent employment incarnation I not only have to work in a cube, I actually have to share that cube with another full grown human being. May I note that it's not exactly a LARGE cube either)

So to begin again. Thankfully my cubemate and I have become an extended version of single-serving friends. She's my mom's age, and kind of an old hippie type, which is interesting only because we now both work in technology - afield nether one of us EVER saw ourselves going into. We spend a lot of time together, so we talk. Probably more than we should, but I'm just considering myself lucky that we have something to talk about, and that she's more interesting than That Guy my friend LegalGirl shares cubespace with. LegalGirl and I have agreed that That Guy isn't interesting enough to get a real code name. In fact, he doesn't appear to have much of a personality at all.

My cubepartner, Blossom, however is hu-way cool for an old chick (and I mean that in the best way) smart, liberal and opinionated, she seems like the kind of mom you wish your best friend had. Early on I shared with her that I was on this savings plan, to travel at the end of my contract. Today we wound up talking about travel again. Payday does that to a brain.

"So what you're gonna save like 1000 a month or something?" she asked.

I paused for just a second, my mouth open but my throat catching hard on the "I wish" I was about to utter. I did a bit of quick math - $1,000 for 12 months. That's a whole lotta travel freedom. What if I couldn't do it? Conversely, what did I have to loose by aiming aim high? As W. Clement Stone said, "Aim for the moon. Even if you miss, you may hit a star."

I've made "go big or go home" my personal motto in everything from snowboarding to eating a good meal. It's gotten me big jumps, busted knees, unforgettable dining and a few extra pounds in the back end. Why not take that challenge to my finances? Granted, that would be almost 1/3 of my monthly take home, but as tracking my weekly expenses has revealed - I actually don't have that many if I limit my nights out and driving. And shopping.

The Law of Attraction dictates that you are only capable of achieving what you believe you can, alternately, what you believe in you can achieve. And belief involves a certain amount of faith. Even in the face of doubt and improbability.

So I closed my mouth, looked her dead in the face, then said, "Yeah, just like that."

Note to self: a moratorium has been placed on the purchase of all shoes until further notice.

That is all.

19 February 2008

For Whom the Phone Rings, or Karma is a Bitch

So guess who had a missed call she couldn't clear from her phone today? See if the caller had left a message the missed call sign would have gone away when I checked my voicemail. Unfortunately they couldn't be bothered - or the call wasn't that important in the first place (more than likely) so now, do I not only know what they wanted, but WHO the "they" are.

I didn't think it was so annoying at first until every time I left my desk and came back I did a double take wondering who on earth even knew the extension to reach me in this cavern of contractors. It really was annoying. Thank God Legalgirl was online.

Rosie: Damn that missed call thing is annoying.
LegalGrrl (She made me promise if I blogged this I would spell the girl as she prefered"grrl" which is SOOO 90's but is also how I prefer spelling my own monkier - as in RosieGrrl, anywho): Not u too?
Rosie: Ah yeah, karma is a f*cking b*tch, eh?
LegalGrrl: Ya. Completely. Do u want ThatGuy's extension?
PAUSE
Rosie: Uh, yeah, I guess so. This is going to drive me crazy.

Once again, the universe checks in to remind one smart-ass girl to stop trash talking everyone else. One never knows when they might have information that one might happen to appreciate having.

18 February 2008

When the phone just won't behave

LegalGirl says That Guy spent about two hours today trying to figure out how to make his phone stop displaying a bogus "new call" notification. He literally could not let it go. Not in the, "jeeze that's annoying, guess I will not waste one more second being annoyed and just ignore it," sort of way. More along the lines of, "I cannot function in any way shape or form unless I right this egregious error immediately!"

What's more sad: That it bugged him so much he couldn't work for trying to figure the damn thing out, or that the company is so fricking disorganized that no one along the chain of 'help' peeps could actually figure it out?

Either way, I can't fault him for trying - but I do feel for LegalGirl. I can just picture her ass-deep in Very Important Documents, trying to focus on copy editing said documents with the consistent drone of half-deaf That Guy on the phone with support in the background. Apparently she gave up at some point, cause I got the IM flash in the corner of my screen.

She did fill me in on the Visqueen show this weekend at Sunset - the show I was too late to get tickets for and was apparently great (as always, love Visqueen)

14 February 2008

This is what happens when I spend too much time on YouTube

Oh shit, see what happens when I go looking to post that Mayer/Keys commercial - all kinda funny bidness comes up. I'd almost rather watch him do stupid funny shit than play music most days. This shit kills me:



Holy hell. Where did this boy come from? Yeah, he's a big goofy dork. Swoon.

John Mayer + Alicia Keys = My happy ears...

BBGB turned me on to these MTV ads - cause she understands my unhealthy and unholy obsession with John Mayer's well being. I don't have a crush on him, per se: it's just that Mayer is the kind of guy that composed most of my social circle in High School. Awkward, oddly charming, musically talented and most of the time attracted to the wrong women. The kind of guy I would have had a crush on if I hadn't had enough sense to know that I didn't stand a chance when compared to his idealized version of womanhood in the form of the popular, cheerleader-type (aka Jessica Simpson)

So anyway. Fast forward. Yes he writes sappy music with lyrics that real men hate because it puts all this pressure on them to be "That Guy" for their girlfriends (aka Say Anything Syndrome) Still, the guy manages not to take himself too seriously (cough, cough: Jack Johnson) He allows himself to be photographed in the Borat wrestling costume. AND....then there are the MTV rabbit commercials, which if you're like me and can't stand to watch what passes for programming these days on "WTF-happened-to-the Music Television," you probably missed:



Thank God for BBGB. Cause not only is Mayer in the suit, but the spots feature Alicia Keys, who is rocking my world and my Ipod. Turns out she did the fabulous outro vocals for Mayer's "Gravity," and he's featured on "Lesson Learned" from As I Am, which has not left my Ipod playlist since it was added. The chemistry between these two is outstanding - and I'm not even thinking THAT kind of chemistry. On pure musical talent and simpatico alone, this is a collaborations I never dreamed could be so amazing.

What do I not ADORE about Ms. Keys? Since the Tori Amos days I've been a sucker for a chick on a piano. And a chick that rocks a piano with some serious Motown soul? Oh mercy! Plus, in a world populated by trainwreck chicks with questionable talent (Amy, Britney, Lindsay...PARIS, anyone?) she is mature, gracious, sexy-without-the-slime and above all - a talented musician. She so composed, with just enough swagger to let you know she could still kick somebody's ass but she chooses to behave better than that. Plus the girl has a booty. Hallelujah. She looks like a real woman. Curvy, gorgeous, Beyonce take note: THAT is is the definition of bootylicious. Who knows, Keys could be a cranked out wackjob in real life, but she manages to keep her shit on straight. CLASSY.

Do I want to be her when I grow up? Hell yeah. Especially when you get to pull off this shit with Mayer at the Grammys:




I can die and go to heaven. Check that swagger. Hollah. That is all.

12 February 2008

Fates worse than death

I believe there are fates worse than death. That is, some things I would rather die than do or have happen to me.

For instance, if I could no longer eat, or enjoy food, which is such a primary point in my life. Don't get me wrong, food is not an emotional experience - not my ultimate comfort. But the act, and pleasure of eating is something that would seriously impact my overall quality of life, if say, I had to take all my nourishment intravenously for the rest of my days.

Indeed, this is a purely personal "worse than death." Perhaps for most people the choice between staying alive and not being able to chew is not a difficult one to make. Maybe I would learn to deal with it - to cope, as all human beings have done facing adversity through time since the beginning of it. And I know there are plenty of medical conditions that prevent people from eating in the traditional sense. I'm not talking about having a food allergy, or a lack of teeth. I'm talking about never being able to sit down at a table with people I love and share a meal. Taste a blackberry picked fresh off a vine in summer time, gnash on popcorn in the middle of the night, close my eyes at HF's command as he slips a piece of rich dark chocolate between my lips.

More than food itself is the quality of the experience that makes life worth living. I like nourishing my body. I like textures of foods in my mouth. I like the opportunity for social bonding that comes up around a good meal, or even appetizers during happy hour.

What I think IS universal about all this is that we all have at least one "a fate worse than death," something that without, or having gone through, our lives would never be the same - might not even be worth living. For my friend, the published author, it would be loosing her command of language. For my bro, it's a prolonged, wasting illness.

Sure, nothing is as ultimate as death - and I don't suggest that I live in fear of not being able to taste the cool wash of beer over my tongue on a hot summer day. But each of us are here, in this life, with our own experience - on our own terms. That's what makes it worthwhile. And there's a power in knowing for me that some things are absolutely nonnegotiable - and they don't always have to be the lofty concepts. "Give me freedom or give me death" is all well and good, but often times our individual lives don't come down to anything nearly so dramatic. That doesn't mean it's any less important to know where we stand - and what we will, and won't stand for.

10 February 2008

The Three B's

Does anyone else out there have this problem? I spend way too much time on IM during the day. To be fair, it IS one of the primary modes of communication at work - my boss may not pick up her phone or check her voice mail --EVER -- but she'll certainly shoot back a reply complete with goofy smilie face emoticon if I ping her with an IM.

Unfortunately I've been using the same IM since college and at every job I've had since - so EVERYBODY who knows me knows it. I hear most frequently from D who checks in to ask me about my weekend and tell me about his latest conquest. BBGB and I chat on and off but she is arguably the only person I know who is more busy than I am during the day. Legal Girl likes to ping me about shows. TechMan gripes about being the IT guru for a bunch of luddite blockheads. FrontDesk gripes about, well being at the front desk all day and Sk8terBoi tries to keep me up to date on the latest shop drama.

I love hearing snippets of my friends lives and keeping track of people. I rarely Myspace any more and only hit Facebook when I get notification that somebody has done some obnoxious thing to my account - anyone been turned into a vampire yet?

But last week everybody wanted to chat. Of course, I was slammed for the first time at work. changing my status to offline helped, but that doesn't fool the people who know me best. Which is just about everybody. By Wednesday, I instituted the Three B's status on my outgoing tag as in:

If it's not Burning, Bleeding or Broken...come back later.

The funny thing is, it actually worked. By Friday all I had to do was add "Three B's!" and the IM was quiet. The funny thing is that although the Three B's started as a way to ward off other people, it's also begun to translate to warding off the internal pitfalls that get in the way of being my own best person. I mean, how many times do I overreact, or let anxiety keep me from enjoying the moment? Cause really, like the Dali Lama said:

There's no point in worry, if there is a solution, it will become apparent. If not, there is nothing you can do about it. Why worry.

So how to the Three B's apply? For example, when I catch myself getting worked up over something, it goes:

Feeling anxious, stressed out, worried? Is it broken, burning or bleeding? Then chill out.

Feelings hurt? Offended? Annoyed? Is it bleeding, broken or burning? then let it go.

Hurried, harried, pressured? Is it burning, broken or bleeding? Then just relax.

You get the idea...The Three B's is rapidly becoming a personal mantra.

Come to think of it -- look out, it's another THIS I BELIEVE coming up--

I believe in having personal mantras. I believe there's nothing magical about a good mantra: I believe there's something powerful about the repetition of important helpful thought patterns to counter years of repetitive thoughts that are not empowering me to be the best person I can be.

AND, I believe my chicken is done cooking (I can smell it from here) so I'm off to satisfy another one of my beliefs:

I believe that feeding oneself is ordinary, but enjoying a good meal divine.

05 February 2008

I belive...

  • that paradoxically, an entire life spent as a hopeless klutz has forced me to develop amazing reflexes.

(this after accidentally I knocked my boss' -thankfully empty - travel mug from his desk then caught said mug before it hit the ground. I heard "wow," I thought "thank god.")

Statements of Belief

  • I believe that the Thai expression "mi ben lai" (letting it go) can be the most effective way to end a fight. The key is in having nothing to do with "winning."
  • I believe that pizza and ice cream is an acceptable substitute for makeup sex
  • I believe I am smarter, funnier, and more bold than I give myself credit for.
  • I believe that I am loved

What do I belive?

So my first set of statements of belief are as follows (in absolutely no particular order)

  • When it comes to relationships, I believe that working it out may be a lot harder than walking away, but so much more worthwhile.
  • I believe that ending tears with laughter is better than any medicine.
  • I believe that I know more than I give myself credit for.
  • I believe that I am the first person I need to love, and be loved by, before I can expect anyone else to "fall" for me.
  • I believe that just because Netflix recommends a movie based on other movies I've enjoyed, doesn't mean I have to like it.
  • I believe that riding the bus to work every day makes me a better person. NOT better than anyone else (including car drivers) just a better version of me.
  • I do believe, however that by taking the bus I'm earning credit for when I do choose to drive.
  • I believe that all I need to do to change is believe that I can do it.
  • I believe that there are some parts of love that sappy love songs know nothing about.