15 June 2008

Has it really been almost a month?

Okay, I know. I am breaking my New Year's blog-update resolution: breaking it with a ten ton hammer. Let me summarize in a quick update:

  1. I still haven't won the lottery, yet. In fact, even if I had, and i was sailing around the world right now, I still should be updating this blog on a regular basis.
  2. Still going to work. See #1
  3. Happy Birthday Rosie! One year closer to no longer being a 20-something blogger.
  4. After the initial, elation/euphoria over my new found singleness, I descended into a bit of a funk. Okay "bit" is mildy. The weather in Seattle didn't do much to help, either.
To be fair part of it is missing HF. The majority is feeling like ONCE AGAIN I have turned a relationship into a trainwreck. Wasn't that the reason this damned blog got started in the first place. Embarrassed and more than a little frustrated the last place I could show my face was HERE. With another man related sob story. AND SINGLE, with not a prospect in sight.

For petessakes, its felt like the end of the damned world for a while there. I wallowed. I felt sorry for myself. I bemoaned men, and my inability to pick the right one and BE WITH THEM. Which brings me to finally dragging my ass back out into the world. *

I think I finally remembered I was going to be okay when I was at a friend's house the other night. I was talking to one of those acquaintances that you only see once in a blue moon at the house of a mutual friend and in the midst of "catch up" conversation I mentioned that I "just finished dating a man from XXX." I paused, flummoxed by my choice of words. My companion laughed, "that is the most powerful way I've ever heard someone refer to a relationship being over."

So here I am, on one of the first real summer weekends Seattle has seen. Determined not to spend more time than necessary moping in the house I did my hair, hopped on the 125 and headed downtown to Elliot Bay Bookstore to burn up my birthday gift certificate. The M's game was just letting out, and judging by the fans we might not have won, but it was a fantastic afternoon to be at the ballpark, none the less.

I passed over the self help section (my new latest obsession) and went write to travel essays where I bought The Kindness of Strangers and Go Your Own Way. It wasn't easy - I lingered over Long Way Round (Ewan MacGregor motos around the world? Heaven!) and Go Girl! (travel tales from black women) but decisions have to be made. Time to get back on track.

I'm back.

*I am leaving out a LOT here. Suffice it to say there was no crying in the cookie aisle this go around, but I did learn something helpful from O Magazine about letting go of regret.

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