Okay so I don't really subscribe to that one, but it did get your attention, didn't it?
So tonight I have a date. Which could definitely be considered getting back on that particular horse rather quickly - but this funny thing happens sometimes when you tell the universe what you think you need (in this case, some "Time Off") and it gives you what it thinks you need (ie. an abundance, very good looking men in a short amount of time who seem particularly interesting and particularly interested in, you.)
I'm of two minds about all this. One I really do need the me time, and the last four weeks have been nothing but that. Hanging out with friends, going home alone, playing the "what do I want to do today game," cleaning house, packaging up momentos, reconnecting with old friends. And to be honest, am I over HF? Who knows. I still get the occasional dull ache of missing that dude, and the tinge of regret for how things just didn't work out.
As Madeline Peyroux sings:
The good news: I haven't called written or spoken to him in four weeks, not even under the influence of hooch. Which has historically been a problem and lead to some tearful, tentative and eventually disasterous ex-sex. I have also not, crusied by his house, visited "our spots" hoping to see him, called his friends (or hassled "our friends" for details) and have had only one big bitching session with girls about "what went wrong." Major accomplishment.
Once in a while I'll wake up
Wondering why we gave up
But once and a while
Comes and fades away*
Still, I'm thinking time off is a good idea. Take some yoga classes, get back into dancing, drag the girls out to happy hour on a regular basis, interact with my male friends on a strictly friends basis. Sure I'm a little horny but that's not something that can't get fixed with a bit of "mouse clicking" (if ya know what I mean) But I put my face to the universe when I wake up in the morning and I say "thank you for one more day to figure this shit without worring about somebody else for a change."
Of course, there's a song for what happens next:
Maybe I got a lot to learn
Time can slip away
Sometimes you got to lose it all
Before you find your way
Take a chance, play your part
Make romance, it might break your heart.
But if you think that time will change your ways
Don't wait too long
Then I look up one day at work and notice the Audi (classy, well engineered and very German) strike up a totally random conversation and wind up having WAY too much in common although he's very much my senior and doesn't look a year of it. Platonics are the rule for work relationships, but you ever get that feeling that if that particular situation were different, a lot of other things would be differnt too. Yeah.
And then comes along Spiderman, the New Zealand transplant. Who is cute in that sort of sandy blond labrador retriever sort of way, athletic, oddly single, adventurous and who I could talk with for HOURS - and have. (More on this one in a minute)
And then yesterday, taking LegalGrrl's puppy to the park for some frisbee I met the most charming and (probably a few years younger) social programmer - Astro. His dog and LegalGrrl's hound took a liking to each other and did the rolling wrestling thing while we talked. He did the most attentive listening I've ever expereinced: when distracted by the dogs or other people he would return immediatly and reference the last few words out of my mouth beginning with the phrase "tell me about..."
Very, very sexy.
Confession time. I have never really "dated" I have spent much of my life getting into relationships with my friends, (always ending in disaster when it ends) or being a solo act. So when Spidey called last week wondering if I would like to go have a drink after work it took me a minute to realize he was asking me "out." This morning I checked messages and Astro is wondering when we could meet a the park with the dogs and maybe get some coffee.
WTF?! So I said yes.
Fact of the matter is, all of the above could come out to nothing much at all. TAKE IT SLOW has become my theme song when the phone rings and it's a boy. But seeing multiple people at the same time - is kind of a new thing for me. And in fact, I am kinda holding out a bit of hope that maybe the Audi and I's platonicism might evolve into something else entirely, but I am more happy to have a friendly face at work than another boy on the plate.
In the meantime, I am still in Time Off mode. I cleaned my apartment top to bottom last night as Seattle cooled off, turned the phone off and then sorted mail and watched America's Next Dance Crew while dining on steamed Asparagus, fresh tomatoes and mozzarella balls - coffee table for one, please. I slept like a baby.
* so the other part of this song goes something like:
I don't know what love is
I'm selfish and lazy
And when I get scared
I can act like I'm crazy.
..which may also apply, but that's another post.